Sex worker stigma, STI’s, sexual health

I try to keep my online presence fairly low-key, limiting it to eye candy/promotion, video updates, or exciting kink things I’m indulging in.

However, I’m going to discuss a topic today that may not be the ‘sexiest’ of topics, but is important nonetheless. I risk alienating certain people, but I choose to risk that in order to be transparent and offer some insight from my perspective.

Sex worker stigma and STI’s.

Many times, I’ve been asked if I’m ‘tested clean’ by clients, without them volunteering their own status.

In both my personal and professional life, I don’t engage in high risk activity. I am also in a long term relationship and am very family oriented, so I place high value on my health. Contrary to cuckolding fantasies I may portray online, in reality, I do not ‘date around’ (that being said, even if a person does ‘date around’, it’s their responsibility to take precautions).

I understand there may be concerns, seeing that I see other clients, or perhaps you’ve seen that I used to do porn several years ago. And just as I don’t know what you do in your personal life, you don’t know exactly what my personal life is like, either.

The fact of the matter is, you don’t know definitively who is STI-free, whether they are a sex worker or not. And from my experience, sex workers (including ProDommes, escorts, porn stars, etc) are even more cautious of STI transmission than the general population.

Many years ago, when I was single and dating, I can’t tell you how many times people I’ve dated were over-relaxed about using protection, going through the effort of getting tested and getting the results on paper to show to me, etc.

In many areas of life, there is always some degree of risk. I’m all for RACK- risk aware consensual kink. For instance, when I spit in a sub’s mouth, there is a very low, but theoretical risk of them getting certain STI’s (if I wasn’t tested clear). If a client chooses to engage in certain activities, it is also their responsibility to assume that there is some degree of risk, and to also feel comfortable to ask me any questions. I`m always pleased to show my results, and/or simply not engage in certain activities if someone isn’t comfortable with it.

Though I don’t expose myself to high risk situations, I still get tested for STI’s every 3-6 months, because I do acknowledge the perceived increased risk from the client end, as well as for my own peace of mind and my partner’s.

If you do some research, you will see that STI’s can sometimes have dormant periods, so unless you’ve been 100% abstinent for years, you should get tested on the regular. Especially if you are in Canada, where health care is free and you can go to a walk-in clinic or sexual health clinic if you’re not comfortable dealing with your family doctor.

There is also some degree of risk involved in play such as urethral sounds. Along with all my other safety measures (having freshly laundered towels, sheets, disinfecting surfaces, etc), I make sure to 1. wash with antibacterial soap and 2. sterilize in an autoclave and 3. disinfect in front of the sub with rubbing alcohol prior to insertion. I’ve never had any issues in the several years I’ve been doing urethral play.

As with any other kinds of play that have some degree of risk, you are always welcome to bring your own toys (sometimes people even bring their own towels, which I totally respect due to their own personal comfort level).

I’m also understanding and it should always be a continuous, open dialogue what a person is comfortable with. For myself, my limits change all the time. An example: I will no longer do scissor focused sessions due to it irritating my reoccurring neck strain. Scissoring combined with many other activities in a session is OK. I also have an autoimmune skin condition (not contagious) that makes me sensitive and if I were to catch something, it would be more challenging for my immune system to fight it off. So whether you are a new or preexisting client, you should double check that your interests are in line with my current limits. I will always ask if you have any health issues prior to playing, and you should feel comfortable in volunteering that information as well.

In summary:

  1. Keep your biases in check
  2. Prioritize your own health (and your partners’) by getting checked regularly
  3. Make risk-aware, informed decisions
  4. Ask questions
  5. And last but not least- have fun!

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