A little note on mind-set & setting in a BDSM context.
I’ve had the pleasure of having some splendid scenes in all kinds of settings – dungeons in Toronto and other cities, my own (under construction) studio (with lots of potential and lots of work!), hotels (both high-end ones and more motel-like ones), and other condo and vacation type rentals.
The most important thing going into a kink scene is mindset. Even taking 30 minutes before a scene to get in the zone is crucial, whether you’re in the D or s role. We all juggle multiple roles in our lives and need to set aside the time (both physical and mental) for a kinky escape.
As a Domme, if I am in a good headspace, I can honestly get depraved pretty much anywhere with a consenting adult, and being respectful of those who are not in the scene. Even camping in a tent in a discreet location (which I have yet to do – bucket list item I would love to check off this summer!). Headspace is #1. As long as I am not uncomfortable in the setting, I can usually get in and stay in the scene.
That being said, for some subs/bottoms/fetishists, setting is a very close #2. I always make sure to let my subs know the location we will be at, and any particular considerations, but I cannot think of each and everything that would be a positive/negative trigger for somebody personally. No location is ‘perfect’.
Don’t be afraid to politely let your Dominant know if you have particular needs, would like a specific location, or to change locations for subsequent sessions.
In my case, I do currently pay a hefty monthly studio rent, so would always appreciate when clients can cover additional rentals for other spaces, be they other studios or hotels. Not expected unless I explicitly say so, but always appreciated. I love BDSM but this is an expensive business to continue to run.
In times of heat waves, I do have back up places I like to rent as my studio is currently not air conditioned (I manage heat on super hot 30C+ days by scheduling sessions at night, keeping the fans and air coolers running, and having ample ice, drinks, electrolytes, cool towels at the ready). The lack of windows helps. I’m also a freak who is used to dancing outside in hot weather at festivals when I was a touch younger, additionally I’m used to caring for dependents who don’t always know signs of heat exhaustion, so I know how to manage heat.
It has been a few months in for having my own studio again (some may remember several years ago when I had a condo space that had an ‘office’ feel for sessions). It has mostly been very interesting, ever engaging (different week, different thing to problem solve), and overall positive. I am so grateful for the beautiful experiences I have shared there. I still remember on one of my ‘down’ moments in which I had to end a scene early (which pretty much never happens), and the sweetest boy said, “Street musicians can make art wherever they are at”. That touched my soul. There are many moments of uncertainty but also lots of support. I also loved when another sweet slave said, “I feel like I got kidnapped in Berlin”. The dark and scary potential of the studio can definitely be a turn on (or off) depending on the crowd!
I hang onto those moments when I am feeling discouraged as a Professional Dominant, which actually, is like being a performance artist and entrepreneur all in one.
I am very appreciative of those who have contributed funds, labor, and good vibes. It’s been a lot of my own blood, sweat, tears and of course, cash, but truly I couldn’t have arrived at the point I am today without some kind of support (whether it is this studio, or this stage of my ProDomme career).
Thank you to my subs and play partners for your continued support, submission, and vulnerability. Thank you to my colleagues for being so inspiring and a part of a vibrant, supportive community here in Toronto. Thank you to everyone here for reading and digesting my Mistress thoughts.
xo
Miss Siren Thorn